# HNTBL 25: Don’t Shake Hands with Strangers

By: TheDragonBoy

## Content

How Not To Become Lunch: 25 - Don’t Shake Hands with Strangers

*flush*

Fiona walked out of the bathroom feeling satisfied. After a good night’s sleep, some interesting dreams (which may or may not have been Arthur-related) and a few trips to the can, her belly was flat again, and she was looking forward to the rest of her day.

“Fiona?” came a somewhat desperate, whiny call. It sounded like a certain pup was hoping she’d have something to look forward to as well. She walked up to her bedroom door and opened it. Sure enough, there was Sissy.

“Could you take me out hunting today?” the pup asked in her most endearing voice, with the widest puppy eyes she could make.

“Hmm… yeah, alright. But we can’t go too far. I want to be around when Jack gets here.”

“Jack’s coming over!?” Sissy exclaimed. Her eyes went from pleading to sparkling with excitement; in an instant she completely abandoned any ideas of going out to hunt.

Fiona smiled even as she sighed. “Yes,” she replied. She wanted to feel happy that her little sister was so excited to see him again. But it was hard when she knew the pup was only excited to eat him- well, she’d try, anyway.

She briefly considered trying to convince the adorable furball to leave Jack alone for the day- promising a reward, pressuring her, threatening her, using a little sisterly blackmail- but she dropped the idea as quickly as it came. She’d already tried it all and it never worked. Maybe she could at least get some of that energy out before he arrived and make her a bit less dangerous.

No sooner had she had that thought, than Sissy had rushed away down the hall- but not toward the front door.

“What are you doing?” Fiona asked as the pup disappeared into her room.

“I have to find my Jack bib!” she yelled back.

“I thought you wanted to go hunting?”

“No way! I have to save room for my first human! He has a reserved spot, right here!”

Fiona didn’t need to see her sister to know she was pointing at her furry belly- now also quite flat after a full day of digesting. In fact she thought she could hear it rumble from all the way down the hall, even over the pup’s loud rummaging.

Then her ears swiveled. She heard something else: the familiar sound of their front door opening. Sissy must have heard it too, because she came bounding out of her room with wild abandon. Fiona rushed after her, not about to let her get the jump on Jack. But before either of them could get down the stairs, they heard a voice, and it definitely wasn’t Jack’s.

“Hello everyone!” came the cheery announcement.

They both paused. Sissy cocked her head, confused for a moment, but then her tail started to wag again, almost as excitedly as it had before. In a sudden rush, she continued to bound down the rest of the steps and out of sight. Fiona followed at a more casual pace, but with a smile. As she caught up, she heard:

“Granny Bea!”

“*Oof*! Look at you! You’re getting so big!”

Fiona arrived a few moments later to see Sissy in the arms of a much older werewolf woman with greying fur. The woman looked up from the pup toward the older girl.

“Fiona,” she said with a grand smile. Cradling Sissy in one arm, she stuck out her other for a hug. Fiona obliged, pressing warmly against the familiar fur for a moment, sandwiching Sissy between them. The pup wriggled and the woman put her down.

“What are you doing here?” Fiona asked, smiling with pleasant surprise.

“What am I-? Did your mother not tell you I was coming? Winowa!”

From around the corner, the werewolf mother was already coming into view, a warm smile of greeting on her face.

“Winnie, did you forget I was coming to visit?” she accused.

“Sorry mom, I guess it did slip my mind,” Mrs. Lupella replied.

“Ah, well come give your old mother a hug to make up for it.”

Fiona stepped aside to make room.

“Granny Bea! Granny Bea! Guess what?!” Sissy called. “I ate a whole human yesterday!”

The grandmother finished her hug and looked down, putting on a surprised expression.

“*gasp*! No, I don’t believe you,” she joked. “Where did the human go?” She bent down to look at the little pup, pretending to search.

“I gurgled him all up in my tummy!”

“You did?!” she reached out and tickled the furry midriff, sending Sissy recoiling back with laughter. “Well, I guess there’s more than one great predator around here.” She turned back toward Fiona, to which Fiona herself looked a bit surprised.

“She heard you made it into the advanced predator class at school,” Mrs. Lupella explained with a smile. “And she insisted on visiting to congratulate you in person.”

“Aw, you didn’t have to do that,” she said shyly with a glowing smile. Her tail wagged under the proud gaze of her family.

“Of course I did!” Granny Bea replied. “My little grandpup in advanced pred class!? That’s something to celebrate! And my other little grandpup eating her first human! Oh it’s more than I could have hoped.” She turned to her daughter. “I must have raised a great mother, for her to have raised such great pups of her own.”

“Oh, mom,” Mrs. Lupella replied with a flattered wave and a tail wag.

“Actually, it wasn’t my first human,” Sissy chimed in.

“It wasn’t?” the grandma asked, this time with a hint of genuine surprise.

“Nuh-uh, it was my second. I ate my first human weeks ago.”

“What!?” the old wolf exclaimed, then she turned to Mrs. Lupella again. “And you never told me!?” She seemed hurt to have been deprived of such momentous knowledge.

“Oh, it wasn’t really like that,” the mother explained, trying to choose her words, “She didn’t really-”

*knock* *knock* *knock*

The sound at the door behind them interrupted the explanation.

“That must be Jack,” Fiona said, the thought making her even happier. She walked over to the door to answer it, drawing all the attention with her- so no one saw the anxious expression starting to grow on Mrs. Lupella’s face.

*click* *creeeaaak*

…

Jack felt a bit of relief as he approached Fiona’s house. He hadn’t run into any predators, but the walk had still been nerve-racking. Walking while invisible was harder than it seemed, especially walking fast, and the spell took constant concentration. Even still it only hid him from sight, it did nothing to hide his scent, a scent that every predator made a point to tell him was so extraordinarily delicious- usually seconds before trying to have him for lunch.

But now he was just a few steps away, and his only worry was whether Sissy would answer the door first and try to take a quick snap at him before Fiona or their mother showed up. He mentally prepared himself with a spell he could use to buy some time if that happened, letting his current spell recede as he reached the door.

In one hand, gripped tight, was his wand- its point raised at the ready. In the other was a rolled-up comic. He’d picked it out before leaving the house, thinking it was one Fiona might enjoy. But whether they ended up reading it or not, he was just happy they would be hanging out again.

*knock* *knock* *knock* …

… *click* *creeeaaak*

He let his breath out as he quickly recognized Fiona’s figure opening the door.

“Hey, Fi,” he said with relief and a smile, letting his wand dip. Then he looked further inside. “Oh, hi Mrs. Lupella, Sissy…” he trailed off when he came to the fourth werewolf whom he didn’t recognize.

Fiona waved him inside happily. He followed her, casually stowing his wand as he looked over the older pred.

“This is my grandma: Beatrix Lowella,” she introduced. “Granny Bea, this is Jack.”

The old wolf woman looked at him quietly with a hint of surprise. Jack felt a bit nervous, but decided to be polite.

“Hi, I’m Jack Eten,” he said, taking a step forward and putting out his hand.

Beatrix took a step forward in turn and wrapped her furry hand around his- but with confusion, as if she were very much expecting that he wouldn’t let her take it. There was a moment of awkward silence, and then the grandma laughed.

“Hahahaha! Shame on you all, tricking your grandma,” she said jokingly. “Saying you forgot I was coming! Ha!”

Before anyone could process her words or what they meant, the aged canine pulled Jack in close and opened her jaws wide- giving him a perfect view of her canines, along with all the rest of her maw. Then she brought her gullet down over Jack’s head. Within a second she’d lifted him up and swallowed all at the same time, obviously intent on making quick work.

*gulp*!

“Wait!! Stop!!” Fiona cried out. She wrapped her arms around Jack’s chest and looked up into her granny’s eyes with shock and fear.

The old woman’s mouth was full, but her eyes spoke well enough. At first she was quite enthralled by the marked boy’s taste, then quite confused as she saw her granddaughter’s face and heard the girl’s words. She squinted at Fiona for a moment, as if she thought she might be misunderstanding, but it was very hard to misinterpret those words or that pleading gaze.

After a moment of consideration, Beatrix opened her mouth and constricted her throat. Jack’s head slid back out, and Fiona helped catch him as his feet returned to the ground. He steadied himself, breathing heavily from surprise as he wiped the drool from his face.

“Sorry dear! Did you want me to save him for later?” Granny Bea asked kindly.

“No! He’s not here for you to eat!” said Fiona. She spoke firmly, but more from worry and remorse than anything else. Her eyes were on Jack, looking him over to make sure he was okay.

He smiled at her, then glanced down to the comic in his hand. He’d crumpled it a bit when he’d clenched up in fear, but it still seemed in decent shape.

“Oh, is he yours then?” Granny Bea asked. “Did you catch him all by yourself? Oh, my little huntress. How did you get him to come in willingly?”

“He’s my friend,” the werewolf teen explained, turning back to her grandma, having deemed said friend unharmed. A brief visit to a predator’s throat was nothing new for him, after all. “I invited him here to hang out.”

“Ha! Amazing. How did you convince him of that?” Beatrix replied, clearly impressed.

“No, really. Jack’s my friend,” she said again, trying to sound convincing enough to show she wasn’t joking.

“Dear, this is a human.” The old woman shot her a knowing look, as if to say: you’re not going to trick me again.

“Yeah, we’ve known each other for years,” Fiona responded.

“A marked human,” the grandma stressed, her smile shrinking to the point where it was almost a frown.

“Yeah, I know. That’s kinda my fault…” she admitted.

“Ah, so you did mark him,” Granny Bea said with a hint of relief, “Oh, I’m so sorry I almost took your catch, go on and finish your meal.”

She shoved at Jack unexpectedly with one furry arm, and he stumbled toward Fiona. In any other case, this would have been the perfect moment for a predator to strike, but of course Fiona only caught him and set him straight.

“No granny, I marked him by accident,” she quickly explained. “He’s not food, he’s my friend.”

Granny Bea began to look quite puzzled.

“Fiona, dear, you’re not making any sense,” she said worriedly. “Humans are food. Marked humans are definitely food.”

“Not Jack,” the werewolf teen insisted. Her grandma met that teenage stubbornness with a sad, concerned expression.

“Oh, Fiona,” she shook her head with sincere remorse, “What have they been teaching you? Here-” she said with all her sweetness- “let me help you.” She spoke so kindly and sympathetically that no one could’ve seen coming what happened next.

With one hand, the grandma reached out and grabbed Fiona’s muzzle, deftly parting her jaws with a single set of fingers. But she did so harmlessly, with the grace of a practiced mother- one who knew how to get stubborn pups to eat their food.

With her other hand, she reached out for Jack. Since she’d gone for Fiona first, he’d had a bit of time to react, but the old wolf knew what she was doing. She’d gone for Fiona first because the werewolf girl was faster, but she knew that would still leave her ample time to catch a human like Jack. The boy began to pull away, but Granny Bea took a solid hold of his wrist. Below her grasp, he felt the pages of the comic in his fingers, crinkling once again as he clenched up in fear. But he still had one hand free; he started to reach for his wand.

“Eat up now, dear,” the grandma said.

Jack managed to grab his magical tool just before he felt a sudden tug, and then a hot wetness, as the old woman plunged both their arms straight into Fiona’s throat. Almost immediately he felt the furry fingers release, zipping back out of the slick passage with practiced ease, just before he felt the fleshy walls seize up around his skin.

*gulp*!

Panicked and stunned, Fiona swallowed- and hard. Jack was jerked toward her, his shoulder dragged clean into her muzzle. Following what was now becoming instinct, he raised his wand to defend himself- but then he faltered. What was he going to do? It was Fiona’s mouth his arm was in, was he gonna cast a spell against her?

He had to turn his head all the way to one side to get a good look at her, and that put them nearly nose to nose. He looked into her eyes and saw the quick flurry of emotions and sensations that ran through them.

First, there was shock, followed quickly by disgust. Having two arms shoved unwillingly down your throat was not something pleasant. But she was a predator, and an experienced one at that (at least for her age), so the sensation was unpleasant, but not unbearable and far from painful.

And that unpleasantness was soon replaced with pleasure and delight. It came when her tongue registered the taste of his marked skin, and her throat realized that it now had a tasty meal solidly in its grasp. He felt her body’s reaction as she did, though for her it came with a flourish of predatory satisfaction.

Her tongue wriggled and swelled against his triceps, accompanied by an almost instant flood of drool. He felt a single, long wave of peristalsis run slowly down the length of his arm from top to bottom. Not a swallow, so much as her throat adjusting its grip, conforming to every inch of his tender surface like an airtight seal. But the wave of pressure only went as far down as his wrist. Around his fist, still clenching his comic book, he felt open space.

His eyes widened.

That’s Fiona’s stomach… he thought.

*gurgle*

That was the next reaction her body had. He felt something nudge against his hand as the sound reached him; a little touch from that place deep inside his predatory friend, where all her meals went to find their end; a brush from death.

His entire arm went limp, almost involuntarily.

But then her eyes changed again. The haze that had covered them- only for a second or two- evaporated like fog in the sun, and her will began to shine through again.

*grr-umMM-BLEGCH*!

There was a wet, slimy retch. Jack felt everything around his arm grow tight- even tighter- and then a powerful squeeze sent his limb shooting out from between Fiona’s jaws.

He fell backwards from the force. Fiona was too startled and single-minded to try and catch him, but Jack was just thankful to be free of her throat. He broke his own fall with his other hand, his wand clacking between his palm and the floor.

His eyes never left her. And she looked down at him a moment later and took a single deep breath, in and out. Then she reached down and offered him a furry hand back to his feet. He smiled lightly through his discomfort. She did the same. He took it with his wet, empty hand and stood up next to her. They remained hand in hand even after he was up.

“What’s wrong Fiona? Don’t you think you deserve a treat for getting into your new class?”

She looked back to her grandmother.

“I am not going to eat Jack,” she said emphatically. “We’re friends.”

The fierce look in Fiona’s eyes caused a shift in her granny’s. She suddenly became almost unreadable, she opened her mouth to speak, but another voice came first.

“That’s enough, mom.”

It was Mrs. Lupella, her words firm, almost like she were talking to one of her daughters rather than her mother.

“Jack’s been with us since Fiona was a pup. We’re all very fond of him. He’s not a meal in this house.”

Beatrix Lowella turned to her daughter, she looked like she was about to say something, but then she saw something instead: her other granddaughter. Sissy was pressed against her mother’s leg, looking worried. The old woman let her breath out, somewhat begrudgingly.

Fiona continued to glare at her. She’d always liked her grandma, but something about trying to force her best friend down her throat had made for quite the turnaround- at least in that moment. Mrs. Lupella took notice.

“Fiona, why don’t you go out and hunt for us? Catch something nice for your grandma.” She spoke politely, but with a subtle sternness in her voice.

“But-”

“Jack can stay with me in the kitchen,” Winowa interrupted, knowing full well what her objection would be. Jack couldn’t go along with her if she were expected to bring back anything good; a hunt required a predator’s speed and stealth. “I’ll cook something for him while you hunt for the rest of us. I’ll keep an eye on him.”

Then she bent down to her younger daughter’s level.

“Sissy, do you think you could keep grandma company while your big sister’s busy? Maybe you could show her your room?”

The pup looked up with big eyes and said, “Okay, mommy.” Then she walked over rather quietly to the old werewolf and pointed towards the stairs. “My room’s up that way.”

Beatrix sighed and smiled slightly, as if defeated by the pup’s cuteness.

“Okay, honey.” The two walked off together.

Mrs. Lupella glanced at her other daughter, much softer now and with a reassuring smile. Fiona let go of Jack’s wet hand as she let out her breath and started to turn for the door, but then she suddenly remembered something.

“Oh, Jack!” She looked back at the hand she’d just released. “Your comic! You were holding it when she- it must have-”

*glorp*

Fiona looked down awkwardly at her belly.

“…I could probably get it out for you, if I try,” she said after a moment. Jack’s first thought was actually for Fiona’s safety, but he quickly realized that if her stomach could handle an entire, fully clothed human, it wouldn’t have any problem with some paper.

“Na, it’s probably ruined by now,” Jack admitted. “But it’s okay, I brought it for you anyway- though I expected you to read it, not eat it.”

“Sorry,” she replied with a laugh.

“Don’t worry about it. Go enjoy your hunt.”

They shared smiles, and then Fiona turned to the door to leave.

“Come on, Jack,” Mrs. Lupella called. “You can rinse off in the sink before I get started.”

Originally Published: 23-Jan-2021