# (April Fools) HNTBL 80: Don’t Become Lunch

By: TheDragonBoy

## Content

How Not To Become Lunch: 80 - Don’t Become Lunch

“Ha! I’ve finally got you. No way you’re getting away from me this time!”

Jack felt his back hit the wall, literally backed into a corner, trapped in the worst place he could possibly have ended up- Sissy Lupella’s bedroom. Well, second worst place, but it seemed like the little wolf pup was intent on changing that, slowly approaching her special marked meal with a familiar hunger in her eyes.

“C-come on, Sissy, Fiona’s home. Y-you know she won’t let you…”

“She’s busy with mommy and I’m starving! I bet I’ll gurgle you all up before she even finds out,” the menacingly cute canine reasoned as she took another two steps forward, staring her prey down. She took another step, and then another step and then-

*pounce*

Jack threw up a hand and squeezed his eyes shut.

*squelch*

“Mmmmm~”

Jack felt a happy hum vibrate around his arm, as it suddenly sank into the embrace of warm, slick wolf guts. A happy tongue went to work, eagerly exploring every scrap of skin it could reach, savoring his disastrously delicious flavor.

The marked boy, seeing as he wasn’t instantly ingested by the ravenous pup, mustered up the last rush of confidence he could and pried his eyes open.

“C-c… come on Sissy,” he managed. “B-be a good girl and… um, spit out my arm, okay?”

He reached out with his one free hand, placed it on her head and gave the pup a hopeful, affectionate rub, as a last-ditch effort at non-digestive resolution.

Honestly, Jack hadn’t expected the gesture to do much, not in the face of his mark’s allure and the little werewolf’s gluttony. So he was very, very, very surprised when Sissy’s little eyes suddenly grew extra-wide, and her tongue abruptly stopped still.

Jack stared for an awkward moment at the frozen little wolf girl, quite confused, until she turned those big eyes up to look at him. She stared at the marked boy with wonder and anticipation, seemingly completely forgetting that his arm was still buried in her throat. The mesmerized young predator nodded her head slightly, nudging it encouragingly against Jack’s free hand, while inadvertently tugging on the one clamped at the entrance of her stomach.

“You… you like that?” The semi-ingested human read a resounding yes from the girl’s eyes, so taking his life in his hands, he ran his fingers through the fur of her head again. Her eyes lost focus and he could feel her tongue lull out around his arm. So he kept going, letting his dry hand drift around through his predator’s coat, until he happened to brush a spot behind one of her ears.

Very suddenly, the little girl’s entire body went limp, gullet included. A very shocked Jack, seizing his moment, continued to rub and scratch gently as he covertly slipped his other limb slowly free of the wolf pup’s digestive tract.

Stunned and bewildered, he looked over his dripping- but very much undigested- arm, and for a moment forgot about petting Sissy, which apparently let her regain enough of her senses to speak, if only a little.

“Wow…” the pup breathed. Her tail began to wag, slowly at first, then faster and faster as her excitement at this new discovery built.

Jack swallowed nervously, unsure of what she was going to do next, but sure that she was about to do something.

“Fiona!!”

…Out of everything, Jack had definitely not been expecting Sissy to call for her big sister.

“Fiona! Fiona! Come quick!” the vibrating ball of fur called.

The older werewolf burst into the room a few seconds later, alert and alarmed.

“What’s wrong!? Why is Jack in here? Why is his arm covered in your drool!?”

“Fiona! Fiona! You gotta see what Jack can do!” the pup told her sibling.

“Huh?” she walked over to them, confused.

“He can do this thing! Do it Jack! Show her!”

“What is she talking about?” Fiona asked her human friend.

“Well, I just…” he trailed off, not sure how to explain, but before he had much of a chance to think Sissy reached up, grabbed his hand and pushed it toward her big sis.

“Show her!” the pup demanded.

Jack, obediently, reached out toward his friend tentatively, but held short of actually touching her. He shot her a look of ‘you okay with this?’ and she in turn nodded a ‘yeah, go on.’ So he awkwardly reached up and put his dry hand atop her head, curled his fingers and…

“Oh…” Fiona muttered. “Ooooh! How… Jack, how are you… doing that.”

The marked boy stared, gobsmacked, as his friend’s tail began to wag faster and faster, her ears drooping back in relaxation. He shifted his palm to scratch lightly behind them, and he could swear he felt her shiver before her entire hips began to gently sway along with her tail.

It was at that point that Jack withdrew his hand, honestly a bit concerned. Fiona just stood there in a pleasant stupor for a moment before making an attempt to explain, and even then, all she said was:

“…Jack… that feels amazing! Why didn’t you tell me you could do that!?”

“I… um, I don’t even know-”

He was interrupted by an unexpected commotion; some not-so-distant shouting coming from downstairs.

“Excuse me! Who do you think you are just barging in here!?” came Mrs. Lupella’s voice.

“Where is she? I know Fiona’s here.”

Jack felt a chill; he knew that voice. But no, no it couldn’t be. Seconds later, he heard quickly approaching pawsteps, and then a moment after a new figure stepped through Sissy’s doorway.

“A-Arthur!?” Jack exclaimed.

“Fiona!” the werewolf boy called. “We need to talk!”

He walked right up to her, completely ignoring the other people in the room- especially Jack. She turned to look at him, but her eyes were still glazed over a bit with bliss.

“It’s time you stopped being a disgrace to our class and our species, and learn what humans are really-”

“Jack, do the thing,” Fiona interrupted, looking back to her actual friend.

“Y-you sure?”

“Yeah yeah, do it,” she urged.

“Are you even listening to me!?” Arthur barked angrily.

Jack started to reach out his hand.

“Don’t you dare lay a finger on me again, you-”

Seizing the moment before his nerves failed him, Jack quickly threw his hand onto the top of Arthur’s head and lightly scratched as fast as he could.

The werewolf boy abruptly stopped talking. What’s more, the anger gradually melted off his muzzle. His eyes grew wider, and in fact a single tear slipped out, rolling through his fur. His tail gave a single wag, and he glanced back at it, as if happiness was some strange feeling he had forgotten, but now could remember.

“…I’ve been… so wrong for so long…” he muttered.

“Fiona!” yet another new voice rang through the room, calm yet firm, as a familiar neko rushed into view. “I heard Arthur was coming to-” Chelsie stopped in her tracks as she saw everyone gathered in the corner.

“Chelsie, you gotta try this,” Fiona encouraged, hurriedly waving her over.

The cat girl raised an inquisitive brow. Something was clearly going on here, something strange. Naturally, she was intensely curious as to what, so she walked over.

“Do it, Jack. Show her,” Fiona instructed.

“Um… okay?”

Thoroughly confused, Jack reached out yet again and placed his hand on a predator’s head, raking his fingers softly through feline fur. The cat stared at him with her largely blank expression, unmoving, unblinking, throughout the entire process before he withdrew his hand. For a moment, he thought maybe it hadn’t worked on her.

“Jack. You are the most incredible human who has ever lived,” the neko said flatly.

“Do me again!” Sissy called, reaching up and grabbing his other hand and pressing it against her head- not even caring that it was still covered in her drool.

“We… we have to protect this human,” Arthur mumbled.

“Finally, you get it!” Fiona agreed.

“Jack’s hands must be preserved for all time,” Chelsie stated frankly.

… The next day at school …

“Wow, that was a tough test, glad I managed to pass,” Jack muttered to himself as he left the classroom. “I wonder if-”

“Yes!”

The marked boy suddenly felt hands around him, and turned to see a girl he’d never met staring at him with… hunger. She seemed human at first glance, but her sharpened teeth and predator-like strength quickly showed Jack the truth.

“I’ve had my eye on you for weeks,” she said, licking her lips. “And now it’s finally time for you to take your trip into my belly.”

As the predator opened her jaws, Jack did as well. Panic filling his lungs, he called out as loud as he could:

“Help!!”

“Heh, who is going to help a poor little… marked… boy?”

Mid taunt, the mage pred glanced around the hall and noticed a crowd of her furry schoolmates gathering closer… a lot of them. Werewolves, nekos, bears, badgers, all glaring at her. Nervously looking back to her prospective prey, she asked in a quivering voice.

“Wha… what’s going on?”

Jack gave the best uncertain shrug he could manage in her grasp. Honestly, he still hadn’t quite figured that out himself.

A rising chorus of growls and hisses filled the air, until one of the gathering predators called out, “Get her!”

The next thing Jack knew, a tidal wave of fur and claws descended on the mage in front of him, completely covering her from view. He took a few steps back, eyes widening at the spectacle.

After a moment or two, Fiona’s face emerged from the fray, her belly bulging large with a freshly squirming meal.

“Don’t worry, Jack, that girl won’t be bothering you again.” She smiled at her friend, but also tipped her head slightly forward in his direction.

“Oh, um… thanks, Fi,” Jack replied, reaching out as she clearly hoped he would and giving the wolf girl a little scritch behind the ear.

Her tail began to wag double-time, her tongue slipped from her muzzle, and her belly gave a loud rumble as the unenlightened meal within protested.

From that day on, Jack never saw the inside of a gullet again.

The end.

Originally Published: 1-Apr-2024