Content
HNTBL: Other Tails
(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)
Chapter 10:
Ethan the Hero
“Slee left her phone on the table… Odd. She never does that. I wonder what’s on her mind--WAIT, that means I get to use it!!” Ethan very stealthily approached his sister’s device, grabbed it, unlocked it - he had spied on her long enough to memorize the code - and then, he started texting Ender. He’d been dying to see him again! [[HI! It’zz Me, Ethnan!!1! Plz com over…]] The typos were either a result of his excitement or entirely intentional. He thought it made him come off as quirky. He glanced around to make sure the big red naga wasn’t nearby, then copy pasted the same text over and over again, hoping that would encourage poor Ender to check faster.
Ender received rapid fire copies of the same text from Ethan. He gave serious thought to just going over straight away but the Thering family was a family you only visited if certain conditions were met. Not least among them were full bellies, and an invitation from someone who wasn’t the youngest in the house.
He tried to get a text in edgewise. [[Hey Ethan, will you still be alive when Slee finds out you have taken her phone? I’m happy to come over but get Slee to text me saying it’s okay]] Ender sent the message and went back to homework.
Ethan groaned, he didn’t want to confront her about it, but if that meant he could hang out with Ender, then he had to. After several minutes, presumably taking that long due to Slee not being pleased to learn about what her brother had done, a simple, Slee-ish response was delivered: [Fine by me]. Slee spent a few more minutes scolding and squeezing Ethan for using her phone.
Ender got the message, was this Slee like? She always did things like this to him to remind him she was a pred. “Catch you later” echoed in his mind from his first time seeing her at the mall. He threw on his freshly washed hoodie over his shirt which read “LeeeeEERRRROOOYYYY” on the front, while the back said “Jenkins”. He had no idea what that meant but it had seemed funny at the time. He drew his hood up and sprinted across the wintry park to Slee and Ethan’s, a bag of Doritos under his arm like an old American Football show he’d seen. He hadn’t even bothered to tell his parents where he was going. The worst of the bruising on his face was gone though, so that was good.
Ethan could smell Ender getting closer just when he got to the front of the house, he slithered to the entrance door and opened it a few moments before the boy could knock. “Hey! It’s been sooo long!” He very quickly wrapped his tail around Ender’s legs, the sound being similar to a whip. “How are you, buddy?” That coil-hug was pretty tight, an indirect reminder that the human kid should REALLY be glad to be on these nagas’ good side.
Ender felt the hug that just seemed to be standard naga greeting and patted Ethan’s shoulder affably. “Really good, and I’m still here.” “If you don’t laugh you’ll just go crazy,” he thought. “Brought some chips, what did you want to do?” Ender made sure he didn’t ask for Slee straight away. If Ethan hadn’t told her, then he’d let Slee sort that out, if Ethan had, then it was sorted. Ender waited patiently to see if the coil hug was just where he was staying or if Ethan planned to let him go.
“Uhm…” He loosened the coils and looked up at Ender - mind you, Ethan might still be a pretty long naga, but he wasn’t that tall - “Can we hang out? Like, go places, just the two of us? I talked about it with Slee and she thinks I can protect you if someone tries to get you, so… What do you think?” Ethan really didn’t want to be disappointed, but he also could understand why Ender might not agree to that.
“Sure but no NOMMING,” he pointed meaningfully at the boy’s large mouth. “Why? Did you have a place in mind? The arcade seems to be fully taken over by, well, you guys lately.” Ender shuddered at the memory of dog breath and throat. He sniffed his hoodie; did it still smell? “Oh, and if Slee is around I should probably at least say hi,” he said reasonably.
“Hey-- I won’t eat you…” He knew that Ender was just messing around, so he was only half-upset about that warning.
A familiar feminine voice joined in. “Not if I say hi first.” Slee appeared at the door, smiling and waving down at Ender.
He nodded up at her, “Hey Slee.”
“I trust Ethan enough, but if anything goes wrong, please just let me know. I’ll try to get there before you become pudge, then turn my brother into my pudge.” She turned her head to the young naga. “You do understand that you have full responsibility for OUR friend, right?”
Ethan gulped nervously. “Yeah.”
With those stakes established, Ender asked his young naga companion, “So where are we going dude?” He opened the Doritos and casually tossed one at Slee’s head, then at Ethan. He listened for the twin crunches of Dorito death by snake gullet. “What do naga’s do with humans- that they aren’t going to eat- for fun?” he thought as he crunched into a few himself.
Slee enjoyed these silly moments. she opened her jaws and munched away. While Ethan just sort of ate it passively.
“Thanks for the teeny snack, but I’m hungry for something more filling,” the naga boy admitted.
Slee immediately shot a glare at him. “Don’t tell me you want to-”
“I was kinda hoping you could help me find a nice treat, you know, we can hunt together.” Was that insensitive? I mean, he did just ask a human if he would like to join him on a human hunt, but Ethan certainly didn’t mean it that way. Maybe he just didn’t realize how rude that might be.
Ender looked at Ethan… “Dude I’m not a predator… I can’t just help you with this, and another mage predator could be REAL unsafe for us both.’’ “Please understand, kid I like you, but…” He looked up at Slee, maybe she had words of wisdom. “‘Sleesdom’?” No she’d kill him for that. “If you’re too hungry I can wait, but this…”
“…You can’t? You don’t have to be a predator to, uh, grab a human and help me eat it.” He countered. Slee was visibly quite mad at him. First the phone, now this!?
“Ender is right, I thought you said you wanted to do something safe and fun with him?” Slee glared at Ethan.
Ender watched Slee seethe at her brother, “‘Sleethe’? No, you’re going to die because of a pun, idiot.”
“But this IS safe and fun!!” Ethan’s belly growled loudly. He looked down at it and sighed “Please… I promise nothing will go wrong! I’ll keep Ender away from tummies, and then we’ll fill mine, everyone wins!”
Ender felt a familiar fear creep inside him. He was still coiled up in Ethan’s tail. He sighed. “Ethan I am willing to wait WITH Slee at the park, but not to help you find some pour soul for your hungry belly.” Ender remembered the friendly accidental NOMMING Ethan had given him… An unfriendly one could be really bad.
“Is it because you don’t trust me?” he responded, sounding mildly hurt. “You really think I’d eat you?”
Slee sighed as loudly as she could and put a hand on her face. “You know what? I’ll let you two settle this, I’m-- WAY too tired for this. But that doesn’t mean you can just bring him along on the hunt thing, I’m serious, Ethan.” Then she slammed the door behind her and slithered away. Her brother looked at the door then turned to Ender again with upset eyes. “I thought this could have been fun…”
“Snakes can’t make puppy eyes!!” Ender tried to tell himself, but then, “…What the hell.” He sighed. “Let’s do it.” Maybe he could learn something? “Show me what you need me to do.” Ethan was going to eat anyway, what the hell could he really do to stop it? He texted Slee [[I’m going with him.]]
Slee didn’t respond to the text, she didn’t need to-- Her groaning and swearing could be heard through the door. Though she didn’t do anything to stop it, she might be just as reluctantly willing to let this happen.
Ethan, unsurprisingly, was ecstatic. He could tell that his human buddy wasn’t a big fan, but it meant a lot to him regardless. “Thank you! Thank you!! Uhm, right, sorry.” He finally fully let go of Ender. “Let’s get going, just the two of us.” His stomach gurgled impatiently again.
Ender opened the door, and began walking with Ethan toward the park. “What did you do this weekend? Oh nothing, Olly, just helped with some casual murder, You?” He was in for a wild ride, he suspected. When they reached the edge of the park, Ender focused up.
“Right,” Ender said grimly, following the young naga’s lead as a random jogger passed a safe distance ahead. “So you’re a young naga looking for food. Where do you start?” he asked. He had to at least learn something.
“Well, we start by looking around.” Ethan noticed the jogger and shook his head. “Doesn’t look filling enough,” he commented audibly, as if to teach Ender something. “There must be dozens of humans outside, some of them have to be nearby… Please let me know if you see them. That’s really all you need to do for now. Easy, right?” Ethan still sounded and looked very excited.
“Ah-yep.” Ender kind of hoped he saw one of the group Jess and Courtney made up, they seemed to be mages and predators. But he also took the responsibility that Slee hadn’t spoken aloud: Ethan was responsible for him, but he was also absolutely responsible for Ethan. He adjusted the arm band that held his wand firmly in place in his strange style of magic use.
“Wanna see something cool? Ender ran, vaulted and yelled “propero” which boosted his jump into a nearby tree pretty high up. Ethan could just slither up it, but it was good for a human.
Ethan watched the short but pretty awe-inspiring scene. He wasn’t very familiar with magic and rarely tried to eat mages, so even the simplest tricks often fascinated him. This was just outright cool, and he absolutely loved it.
“Woah, neat!! But uh, how are you gonna get down now? Remember, we still need to find someone to eat.” The thought of slithering up the tree didn’t come to mind, and even if it did, he likely wouldn’t do something like that, a little too dangerous for his liking.
“Oh I just,” Ender jumped, “propero.” His body tilted oddly in mid air. Ender had arrested the bulk of his downward velocity but landed mostly on his back in a heap. He laughed, looking sheepish. “Well it’s a work in progress.”
Ethan smiled and chuckled quietly, seeing the half-successful-half-failed landing.
“There were definitely a few humans towards the center of the park,” he reported to Ethan, “Now what?”
“Oh, well, now we go to the park! Thanks for letting me know, you’re the best. And you thought you couldn’t do this? Crazy!” He eagerly started slithering away towards the park. “Catch up!”
Ender jogged lightly behind and to the left of Ethan. Let’s see how this goes. He stayed light on his feet and tried to keep quiet. As they neared the park he slowed down. There were apparently three humans at the playground.
“What now, Ethan?” Ender whispered, ducking behind a tree. Two kids chased a smaller kid, throwing rocks and jeering at her.
“Distract one of them. I’ll take the other two.” Ethan said.
“Two?! Geez, He must be really hungry,” Ender thought, realizing why the naga had been so desperate to go hunting.
Ender circled around the playground. The smaller girl was not human; she was apparently a wolf of some description. The human kids were older, gathering and throwing rocks at her, keeping her running.
“Little monsters!” he thought, though the irony was not lost on him. What he did lose was any sense of remorse as he heard the little wolf yelp as another rock hit her.
Figuring she could hear better than the kids, he called quietly, “This way kid, over here.” Her wolf ears should do the rest. He waited as the lead kid took aim with another rock and whispered “propero”. His stamina for spells was nearly depleted, but it did the job. The rock missed and the girl made it out of the playground towards him.
“There you go, Ethan, I think that’s as much as I can do,” he said, mostly to himself. Ethan quickly began slithering towards the human kids.
The wolf cub ran towards him, and Ender nodded, signaling she should run home, but the pup stopped for a moment, looking up at Ender. She recognized him, and he might recognize her as well.
“Didn’t I try to eat this human? He saved me from those mean kids!” She took a whiff of his scent before she ran away. ‘I’m just a kid, but if I ever see him again, I’ll repay the favor.’ She decided.
Ender was, of course, clueless as to how this simple kindness had affected her.
Ulp, glrk, ULP! Ethan had fully swallowed the first kid, holding the other one down with his coils. “Whoo! Delicious. But not quite filling enough, perhaps you can help with that… NOM!” Hey, at least he got what he wanted. And with Ender being there and partially having assisted him, it felt much better.
Ender made himself watch the remaining kid join his friend kicking and screaming down Ethan’s throat. The wet gulping noises echoed in the playground, now only occupied by the naga. Their screams in Ethan’s belly redoubled.
…Had he done the right thing? The punishment for being cruel was death? Who knew…?
Before long, the feet of the second kid slid into the young throat, never to be seen again. One final gulp, and the deed was done. Ethan turned to face Ender as he entered the clearing, raised a hand, waved and-- UURRP!!
“Sorry, just, you know, two at once, heh heh,” he laughed. “Anyways, that was pretty great. For me, at least. What next? Maybe we should do something a tad less exciting, I’m so full!” One of the kids had already been forced into his snake-half. Impressive that Ethan could genuinely stomach two humans at once, but hey, nagas had long bodies and therefore, long stomachs. It made sense.
Ender walked to Ethan, but didn’t respond right away. He processed what he’d just seen, what he’d just done, and what he was feeling. “Well… I don’t really feel that bad.” He felt strange about helping Ethan eat those two boys, but they’d been engaged in the kind of cruelty he loathed, and he felt bizarrely numb about the encounter. Ender thought of his friendship with the Therings and found them strangely honest.
So he held out his fist to Ethan for bumping and waited, listening to the muffled struggles of the two would-be wolf bullies.
“I feel like I’ve seen that little wolf before,” Ender thought for a moment in passing, but he couldn’t quite place her.
Ethan smiled and rather excitedly fist bumped Ender, the tip of his tail moving around as if it was wagging, in a sense. “You’re a good friend.” The young naga was well aware that Ender might not have enjoyed the experience very much, but he had still decided to join AND help him. That was something Ethan really appreciated.
Ender grinned back at Ethan. “Do I get an ‘honorary naga’ badge yet?”
“Depends Ender, can you do this?” The naga coiled around him, holding him tightly. The two squirming, digesting children pressed hard up against him.
“Guhh, no,” Ender grunted from within the powerful yellow naga’s coils. Ethan’s face approached his, tongue flicking. “Guess not then, but still, you’re the coolest human I know.” The naga uncoiled from around his human friend. Ender breathed deeply for a few moments.
“So, what next?” the young naga repeated. As if he didn’t just squeeze the heck out of his companion. “Like I said, if you still wanna hang out for a while we should do something more… hh, relaxing.” While he spoke, his belly groaned and churned quietly, providing background noise to the conversation.
“Seems like a solid time for video games,” Ender said. “You wanna chill at yours or mine? Is it better for you to be home when you’re… full like this? My parents might actually freak out a little.”
“Yeah, great -- urp -- idea!!” Ethan gripped one of Ender’s hands and started slithering back home. He was a tad slower than usual, though still moving at a solid pace despite the added weight.
Ender looked meaningfully at Ethan’s “bully belly”, as he’d come to think of it. He whipped out his phone. [Get ready, Ethan ate two boys at once. I think he will want to tell you.] he texted Slee. He really was coming to terms with his part in this.
Slee viewed the message but didn’t really respond, not like there was much to say about it anyways.
Ethan eventually noticed Ender’s attention towards his belly and his ecstatic smile faded a little “Uhm, you aren’t scared, are you? I’ll admit, I feel a little bad for bringing you with me but… I just wanted to spend some time with you.”
Ender looked at Ethan. “Honesty was the best policy,” he decided. He didn’t know whether the young naga would understand at all, but maybe he’d feel better saying it.
“Ethan, I was a little scared, but if we hadn’t gone what would have happened to that wolf girl?” He looked at the naga, waiting for the kid to work out an answer and walked with him pleasantly. He remembered when his dad had talked to him like this, asking him what he thought, he’d learned a lot from that. He absentmindedly cracked his sore knuckles.
“Yeah, you’re right… I mean, maybe someone else would have helped her, but still.” Then, as he slithered along, another question popped up. “Were you scared of me?” Since Ender replied honestly to that somewhat vague question, Ethan hoped he’d do the same with this one.
“Ethan, you’re already a badass naga, you even have the T-shirt, you lent it to me. You’re also a really cool ki- guy.” Ender did not know how Ethan would feel about getting called ‘kid’. “Sometimes I’m just a human, I can’t help it, maybe just smack me a little when I do it. I’ll never be a naga, but I will try to be your friend.”
That… wasn’t exactly what he’d expected. Ender didn’t say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ directly, so Ethan had to think about what his human friend had said. Though, it didn’t seem like a negative response, so he wasn’t upset about it.
“I think you’re wrong about the wolf cub though,” Ender added after a few quiet moments. “If no one had come to help her, she would have eventually gotten home, maybe hurt bad, and she’d have talked to her parents. They probably would have hunted every human they could find in that park… What do you think?” Ender looked at Ethan seriously as they approached the Thering House. “This is why you think long and hard before you hurt someone,” he thought to himself.
“I guess you’re right, maybe.” Predators could be vengeful, but not usually to that extent… in most cases at least. Before long, they made it back to the house and Ethan opened the door, letting Ender go in first.
Ender’s thoughts on the matter of helping Ethan hunt had settled, his own words having affected him as much as he hoped they’d reached the young naga.
“Gotta mess with Slee,” he thought. He entered the door like an MC from the cage fights his father constantly dragged him to. “Who’s the baddest naga in this town!? Who’s got a belly full of bully!? They call him the wolf girl saver! It’s ETHANN!!!” He regulated his voice to carry, but not so overly loud as to be annoying to sensitive naga ears… he hoped. He made fake cheering sounds as Ethan slithered in.
Slee, as Ender had hoped, rolled her big reptilian eyes in the most teenage way possible and managed to twirl her tail in the air sarcastically. “Will you two idiots quiet down!?” she gasped in semi-irritation.
Ethan and Ender laughed and bumped fists. Their laughter became contagious and Slee was unable to retain her ‘superior teenage naga’ attitude and finally started laughing with them. The two nagas and Ender spent the rest of the day playing video games and generally being friends.