Content
HNTBL: Other Tails
(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)
Chapter 3:
Hangry Games
Ender was eating in the lunchroom. All the humans gathered at a single group of tables; they tended to eat together to avoid obvious lunchtime problems. They still didn’t associate with Ender though, nor he them.
His neck was still bruised and sore from his “discussion” with his father regarding Jess. His parents’ fury at him for her death in the belly of Slee had fallen apart when her social media messages exposed her, though, and her insane schemes came out in the wash.
His father had apologized in his way, he’d gone into the garage to drink. His mother still wasn’t talking to him. Ender was attempting to take it in stride.
One of the human tables erupted in a louder than normal discussion. “And then this fat naga just eats Jess, and threatens her friends.”
“What the hell!?” Ender gulped his disgusting protein shake down, walked over to the table of gossiping children and sat down. The children eyed the usually quiet outsider, he surprised them by speaking. “You guys are going to want to stop right there, that isn’t how that happened, and you’re not talking shit about Slee.” Ender had one friend, it was Slee.
“Butt out, new kid.” One of the larger boys tried to push Ender away. He shifted his shoulders allowing the push to miss. Inter-human violence was his specialty.
“You’re not what passes for ‘scary’ around here, kid.” Ender’s voice was calm, he nodded to the predators around the room, “THEY are.”
Slee was making her way around the lunchroom, eyeing the dozens of human students with hungry intent, thoughts of her next meal on her mind. That changed when she caught sight of some human trying to lay hands on Ender. Up until this point, she hadn’t exactly been looking out for Ender; she hadn’t even thought about how dangerous lunchtime would be for him. She wouldn’t have imagined that humans themselves would mean trouble for him. The naga just didn’t consider the consequences of her actions, not like most preds did anyways, but when she saw one of the ‘prey kids’ attempt to push Ender away, some protective instinct lit up inside her.
She put on a mildly angry expression- mildly angry for a naga was mortally terrifying for most humans- and slithered towards the table as quickly as she could. She’d overheard the gossiping humans and thought she’d deal with it at some point. Hearing Ender’s voice defending her had moved that schedule forward. “Befriending him was definitely a good idea,” she decided.
“Hey Ender, what’s going on?” The question was almost rhetorical, asked in a tone that clearly indicated she was already well aware of the facts. She loomed darkly over the table. Slee noticed a few other students stealing glances at the human table the naga had joined. “A human boy standing up FOR a predator?” “A predator standing up for food?!” fearful voices uttered quietly, though not quiet enough for her ears.
Ender looked at the offending teenager, who in his eyes was nowhere near fit enough to start calling Slee fat. And besides, you just didn’t call people fat; it was far past 2022.
“Well, roach scrotum? You want to say anything to her face, or are you gonna shut up right now?” Ender stared, deadpan, at the offending boy, a dangerous calm surrounding him.
Unfortunately, the bully didn’t read it. “You’re just talking ‘tough’ cause she’s here right now. We could take your short ass if she wasn’t.” Ender sighed, he was short, he had a thing about it. One breath in through the nose, one breath out through the mouth.
“There is no such thing as tough, dude, there is only ready. Are you ready?” Ender stepped well clear of Slee to make it very clear he wasn’t in need of her protection. “Well not for this,” he thought darkly.
Slee rolled her eyes. If insect preds existed, then they’d probably be fairly offended, or at least flustered upon hearing that low-key insult. Either way, Slee didn’t exactly care about how much Ender wanted to stand his ground here, she was hungry and that kid was getting on her nerves.
She shifted her coils, preparing to strike. “Endy, do you really want to deal with him right now? I’d be pleased to have a word.” she said, her silky contralto trembling, letting her petty anger shine through the cracks. “I guess that sophomore guy is more naïve than Ender; don’t be such a ‘bully’ around preds,” thought Slee.
Ender looked at the doomed kid, resigned. “I mean, look at me,” Ender said to Slee, lifting his neck to show the bruises. “This dude is an idiot, his friends could probably do with an object lesson, and I’m too tired to dance.” “I don’t see preds talking shit about each other like this.” Of course, preds were every bit as petty, they were all just kids in their own way, Slee was just an upstanding example. Ender watched the snake girl’s hypnotic coils, wondering where a safe spot to stand would be at this point.
Slee’s eyes widened when she saw the bruises, her expression suddenly morphing into a frown “Endy? What the hell happened?! Ugh, tell me later, please. First, let me deal with him!” She was upset to see injuries on her new friend; she knew Ender trained pretty hard, but she hadn’t expected that to happen. Was it her fault? She’s the one who ate Jess, after all. She tried to shake off those thoughts; at least she’d have something to cheer her up now.
She struck, her coils tightened around the would-be bully’s torso. The mouthy meal didn’t have a chance. She simply leaned forward, her jaws unhinging.
Nomph!
The boy could find no way to resist the insistent mouth and throat. His vision went black as he tried to scream, but that resulted in a mouthful of Slee saliva. He felt the articulate tale pushing him further into the mouth, his head bumping against the throat of the hungry naga. That dark passage opened obligingly for him, welcoming him to a sticky, undulating hell.
Ender looked on as Slee once again made his problems… disappear. “This is your only friend!?” he thought to himself as he saw her agile tale start to feed James into her depths, James’ former lackeys sure were not staying for this, they ran like hell. Running didn’t seem like a wise idea to Ender. The other preds were still around.
It wouldn’t even make sense to run from a predator that was already stuffing her throat. Tendentially, they’re an issue before they’ve caught someone to eat. But the fear was understandable either way.
Slee tried to enjoy and savor her catch this time around, though to her displeasure, he tasted as bad as his own demeanor. Oh well, at least her belly should be happy. gulp, shoulders in; glrk chest in; glp waist; gulp, ulp, GULP! aaaaand he was gone. She pushed his feet inside with her tongue and snapped her jaws shut, tilting her serpentine head upwards as the bulge made its way down. She took in as much pleasure and satisfaction as she could, but after a few moments her attention went back to Ender. (He hadn’t run away.) She looked at him and just- URRP!-- Uh, that wasn’t supposed to happen! She looked at him for the normal signs of human disapproval, fear, or disgust.
Ender had watched Slee consume a human for the second time, and now she seemed to expect him to say something. To him, there was no guarantee Slee didn’t have room for two, and churning up with the likes of James was… detestable beyond all reasonable belief.
“Ah, should I flee, scram, begone, exit, or is it ok to talk?” Ender found himself trying to repress the fear and… something else, which came whenever Slee… ate… There he was again, watching this powerful naga consume someone. “Calm down idiot, it’s Slee. if she wanted you, she could have you literally whenever. Be cool, she’s saved your ass three times now.”
She raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms idly, and letting her coils shift behind her. “Uh… We can talk if you want.” She sounded a little disheartened by his response. She had been nice enough to let him talk to that bully first- delaying her lunch for a couple minutes- and then literally ate his problem away. Not even a thank you? Whatever, she perfectly empathized with his fear. Her body groaned and gurgled quietly as she slowly found a use for the gossiping bully.
“Soooo the parents reacted badly, but then checked Jess’s social’s. She’d been planning it for months before we moved here, friggin psycho! If she could, she was going to film it!” Ender refocused. “Thanks for… that, and Jess, and letting me go… Slee, holy crap, is there anything I can ever do… you know, for you?” Ender was earnest; he met Slee’s eyes hopefully.
“I’m definitely more glad that I ate her now,” she thought to herself, resisting the urge to smirk. That wouldn’t be a good look with what Endy was saying to her. “Well, the best you can do is just let me eat in peace if someone is bugging you. That’s about it really.” Another belch escaped her throat, maybe in an attempt to deliver her point more sharply? “Anyways… Don’t you want to eat something now? Time’s ticking, lunch won’t last too long.” She sat on a chair at the table, or rather, she put some coils on it to balance out her weight, then rested on said coils. She idly rubbed the bulge on her human half.
“Oh, I’m done,” Ender belched as well, since apparently that was okay to do around preds. “Friggin protein shakes!”
“I’m heading to basic magic class next, honestly I know the material, but I don’t feel like I have much talent for the whole wand wielding fiasco.” Ender shook his head to clear it. “Anyway, you had mentioned maybe video games at yours this weekend? Or you can come to mine?” Ender drank water to wash the horrid shake flavor away.
“Huh. When preds burp, it’s usually just rather gross- but to be fair, what about predators ISN’T a little disgusting?” Slee thought. “It was a way to show off their successful hunt.” Seeing Endy do it almost felt wrong, in a sense, but it’s not like she minded it. “I hope magic class is going to help, I can’t always be around, and even then- I don’t feel like arguing with other students, honestly,” she said, lying through her teeth. She liked helping Ender, but she had to say that to save her reputation a little. She knew there were preds listening.
“I mean, yeah, you can come over! I should just tell my family about it, first.” She glanced down, frowning slightly. “Am I really gonna let a human boy inside my house? What will dad think? They’ve always prided me for my appetite, certainly not my compassion…” She tried to put the thoughts away. “Endy, not to rush, but you should probably start heading to class. I’ve heard that they’re getting REALLY strict about late students.”
Ender nodded. “Thanks again Slee, text you tomorrow.” He quickly left, dumping his trash in the bin. Maybe he and Slee could team up on Human_Gurgler_69? Yeah, that would be fun. Hopefully Slee was good so he could take back a few kills!
________________________________________
“Hi Endy.” Slee let go of her tail, letting it plop down and shift along the rest of her coils.
“I let my parents know you were coming, but I think mom is kinda scared. Come on in.” Ender backed up, “Was playing with her tail… a nervous habit?” he wondered. He began to lead her into the human house.
A gruff old voice echoed from the garage, “Is that her?”
“Come on, you’re not THAT fat, Slee!” the naga thought as she tried to fit through the door frame. “Either that, or humans are extremely inconsiderate!! Whoever built this door should have a word with me,” she thought darkly, just like she’d had ‘a word’ with that student earlier that day.
“I uhm, I get that, yeah.” She said in response to Ender’s greeting, she had eaten Ender’s sister, after all. “If it helps, you can tell her I already ate.” Not that she couldn’t fit another morsel or two in her soon-to-be-empty digestive tract, but she wasn’t in the mood to eat anyways. “Telling him that wouldn’t help anyway,” she thought. She was looking forward to getting to know this strangely calm human.
“Oh, she’s not talking to me,” Ender laughed bitterly. “I’m fairly sure you won’t see her. She’s not usually rude, but…” Ender gestured vaguely.
At length a sinewy, older version of Ender entered. “Hi there. You’re Slee? I’m Mr. Drake. I know it seems weird, but I wanted to thank you for helping Andrew out.”
Ender mouthed the name ‘Ender’ silently when he was called ‘Andrew’ by his dad.
“It was a hard thing to understand until we were shown, but it worked out, and you’ve done far more for Andrew than he could do for himself, so thank you.” Mr. Drake offered a gnarled hand to Slee.
“If I had known earlier that he was called Andrew, I might have had less sympathy. That’s… such a terrible name! ‘Endy’ on the other hand--” Her thoughts were pushed away when she was presented with Mr. Drake’s hand. She wasn’t used to handshakes, especially not with humans- though she was an expert at holding their hands in place, for sure. “Uh, my pleasure. You’re welcome, sir.” She shook his hand as slowly and gently as she could, putting on a toothy smile. Her coils shifted behind her, finally fully inside the house.
Ender took care not to step on any part of Slee’s endless tail as he shut the door. He did see a shocked human neighbor lady, staring at him as it closed with the massive naga inside. He didn’t dwell on what she might have been thinking. He was too busy being frustrated at his dad for telling Slee his birth name. He thought of himself as Ender; it was only his parents who insisted on calling him Andrew.
“So, I think the living room would be best,” he said pleasantly. “You can help me move the couch to the wall if you need more room.”
That last thing he said was definitely a nice thought, but she did take a little offense to it. She could lay her coils on top of each other already, so space wasn’t exactly an issue-- was she actually that chubby? She sighed quietly to herself, looking down at the floor for a few moments before meeting Ender’s gaze.
“Nah, it’s fine. I’ll fit in!” She leaned closer to him, her neck raising above his height. “So, what are we going to do? I’m not, uh, I don’t know what humans do with friends, and what we preds do might be odd for you, so-- I’m ready to hear your ideas.” The smile on her face widened a little, her top fangs poking out of her lips just slightly.
Ender had become a little more comfortable with Slee’s size, so he didn’t back away; her looming up seemed to mean she was inquisitive about something. “Well,” he said, “humans, I mean ‘we’, usually play video games, watch movies and eat snacks.” Ender’s eyes saw the fangs barely emerging. “I hope she isn’t insulted about me moving the couch, I don’t think she’s fat, she’s just… big.” “Do you eat… like, um, snacks? I feel like that would be very different for predators.”
“Eat snacks? Wait wait wait, since when do humans eat other hum-OH,” she realized, “He must mean chips or something.” She nodded slowly, she was fine with all three things he listed, though of course the first and last options were the most interesting to her. She had seen and heard at some point that humans tended to eat snacks while playing video games or watching old movies, perhaps she could merge two of her biggest interests into one!
“I’d love to play some games with you! Though, I’m warning you right now: I’m very good at ‘em. Just, in general.” She paused for a moment, letting that notion sink in “Can we eat something to go along with that?” she asked hopefully, her head raised even higher.
“Definitely an inquisitive thing, not necessarily a sign of threat,” Ender noted.
“Sweet, what’s your favorite chips? Do you do cookies?” Ender began leading Slee towards the living room.
“I… I don’t eat snacks usually, just give me whatever you’d like,” she replied honestly.
“I’ll grab some chips,” he said to Slee, pointing her toward the living room while he stepped away to grab their snacks from the kitchen.
In the kitchen, Ender was plotting. “Okay, Human_Gurgler_69, this is your day. Me and Slee are going to mess up your whole world.”
“So do you play first-person shooters?” He called from the kitchen as he retrieved a couple bags of chips, “I’m kind of into Call of Duty 29, the new vore mechanics are crazy tough.” Ender had been consumed what felt like 100’s of times by his online nemesis. He thought the resistance mechanics were lame, he always ended up in the pred’s belly with 10 or 15 other players, unable to stop the rising acid damage as his character perished horribly, again and again.
As Ender’s voice echoed from the kitchen, Slee took a moment to inspect the couch before laying her entire body on it. The Drake’s family couch was suddenly invisible below coils upon coils, a sea of scales slowly shifting and resting. Her human half was mostly covered in them too, almost like a blanket.
Ender returned with two bags of potato chips and looked at the sea of coils. Deadly strength and beauty. “Wow,” he thought.
Then Slee remembered this wasn’t her own house. “Sorry, sorry! Would you… like to sit down with me? Don’t worry, my body isn’t that sensitive, you can sit on the coils. I just hope you don’t mind the movements.” She looked a little flustered, holding the end of her long tail again.
“It’s okay,” Ender promised as he carefully approached the coils, looking for a place to sit. He gave up being too careful and sat down next to Slee’s human body. Once Ender had sat down her coils came to life, shifting and wrapping themselves around his legs comfortably. The experience was… new.
“What’s your Gamer ID?” Slee asked, enjoying the stunned look on Ender’s face as she wrapped him up.
“PredNemesis96,” he said distractedly. Slee’s coils were in constant motion still, it was taking some getting used too.
“PredNemesis? Aww, that’s kind of mean,” she said, crossing her arms and muttering to herself. Then she remembered what her own gamer tag was. She reached an arm into the first bag of potato chips and munched way too many, stuffing her jaws and making kind of a mess around her face. “This stuff is nice, it’s been a long while since I’ve eaten actual food.” She ate some more before reluctantly telling Ender, “My Gamer ID is… Human_Gurgler_69.” Before he could comment, she defended herself. “Look, I made that profile when I was 12!! Cut me some slack, okay?”
“Yeah I made my gamer tag when I was around 12,” Ender was brushing crumbs from ‘snorfed’ potato chips off himself absentmindedly. “Wait a second!?” He slowly looked up at the giant potato munching naga, who’d firmly wrapped him up in her wonderful tail.
“Slee… you’ve been absolutely destroying me lately, I can’t ever get a kill on you.” He laughed.
“Oh, so you’re that loser I keep beating!” She replied with a smirk.
“Well there go my plans for revenge… I guess if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” He leaned into her side in what he thought was a friendly shoulder bump, She leaned back and allowed him to recline against her, she liked having this human close. “The Gurgler is finally on my side,” he declared, “I’ll suppress them and you consume.”
He took up the controller, logging in; split-screen wasn’t ideal but they should still have a good advantage. He handed it to Slee, smiling up at her fiercely.
”Well, ‘fiercely’ for a human,” she thought. “Don’t worry Endy, I’m going to feast on our enemies!” She grabbed the controller, appreciating that he gave her one of those adaptable ones which telescoped out for larger hands. She smiled back at him and flicked her tongue in his direction for a moment. “Ready?”
Ender’s eyes crossed comically at the flicking tongue inches from his face. She hadn’t pulled away from him, so he relaxed a bit more. “Hell yeah!” He found an errant potato chip amidst her coils during the loading. “Hey Slee, catch.” He tossed the chip towards her jaws. He didn’t even look to see if she snapped it up. “How could you miss with a mouth that big?” Ender heard a faint gulp.
The game started and Slee saw a change in him; he laughed more, and was more animated than his usual calm self. He was ‘okay’ at the game, she thought. Not as good as herself, but he played better following her and helping her. It was great fun. A couple of his online friends from across the world messaged him, but he said he was busy “kickin’ ass and chewing bubblegum.” Slee was perplexed. “That must have meant something to them,” she thought and went on gaming.
The gaming was fun, but she grew bored after a few hours. She yawned, unhinging her maw just to stretch her muscles, then snapped it closed again.
“That was great, but I think I had enough.” She eyed the plate. “Can’t ever get enough of these, though.” She devoured a dozen more chips, then let out a quiet, soft belch. “Thanks for the snacks, buddy.”
Ender’s eyes fixed on the expanding passage of Slee’s jaws, hearing the fate of the doomed chip. He went very still, he was brought immediately back to the reality that he was wrapped up in a predator’s coils, one that was more than capable of devouring him whole without much effort.
Awkwardly, he asked, “Could you, um, let me out?-- Up- I meant UP,” he corrected quickly, logging off the game. “We gotta do this again, you’re a total badass.” He rolled his shoulders stiffly, hoping the awkward mistake would pass, only to make another. “Do you think you could do me a flavor-- favor, I mean, before you go?” Seeing her mouth unhinged like that had shaken him up.
Slee noticed the change in his demeanor but decided not to make anything out of it. “Oh? Yeah, of course.” Her coils shifted again and basically made him slide off of the couch. After that, she began to get up herself. First, she had to get all of those coils off of her, which was a little harder than it seemed. “I hate it when I get tangled up, ughh!!” A couple minutes later, she managed to ‘stand’ up. She stretched her arms and raised her neck as high as she could, nearly hitting the ceiling. “What did you need?” She couldn’t help but smile; she liked his little Freudian slips.
“Ah, I was hoping you could give me kind of a big squeeze. My upper back feels… out, and it’s super sore. If you could just kind of gently… straighten me out…” He looked at her amassed coils, now untangled from him and the couch. Was the lump she started with gone? Thank heavens for potato chips.
“Oh, yeah sure.” She nonchalantly wrapped him back up, glanced at Ender with neutral eyes, and then CRACK. Maybe she hadn’t been so gentle, and the feeling of his body coiled up by hers was delicious… but hey, she’d done what he asked her though.
“There, hope you’re happy, Endy.” She smirked and chuckled quietly to herself, the meal she’d brought with her was long gone and unwrapping herself from Ender’s tasty muscular form was a little hard, but still. She unwound from him and moved to the door ahead of him.
Ender got the door for her, his back much better, and watched his naga friend slither off across the park where they had met. He smiled absentmindedly at her retreating form, wondering why she liked him, but accepting that their friendship was what it was. There was no denying he liked her; he was glad she hadn’t eaten him at the park. Life here was turning out pretty good.